Proof of Life
The thing about weddings is that they're not just about the couple, otherwise people wouldn't be so pissed off when you talk about eloping. They're about all the family that comes together and gets to meet and talk with each other over croissant sandwiches and cake. You get to meet the new family and they get to meet you. Unfortunately, you get to eat cake with relatives at whom you'd rather forcefeed e. coli. Why is that illegal again?
Fortunately, you also get to eat cake with wonderful people with whom you share a few genes. You get to celebrate two people you love and enjoy and sometimes there's a sunset or two, pizza and alcohol. Now it's all over and I'm really missing all the relatives and friends. It wasn't even my wedding.
Celebrations are great, aren't they? More later, unless I can supress this urge to explain my relatives who are proof of alien life.